A letter to my husband because he blames me for the kids unruly behavior as they are up past their bed time tonight:
Dear Bill,
I realize the kids were highly annoying and I do feel terribly that they woke you up. However blaming the entire situation on me really makes me feel small. I dont feel this was my fault . Maybe its your fault...if you think about it...we wouldnt need a baby sitter if you were home. That doesnt feel good hearing it that way does it? I deserve to take this little class and so what the kids were bad one night when they are usually adaptable to random situations... this cant be blamed on anyone! Im up to my friggin ears all day in nonsense from the kids that I have to sort out. When you come in and start blaming their temper tantrums on me it make me feel like all my efforts all day long were for nothing. Why should I bother, right? They could have a tantrum while you are sleeping! I get that you are sick, overworked, and you really dont like me at all lately. I get it. But when all hell breaks loose in my day to day I dont blame you. When I have to take all the kids to do a teeny little errand that I could have done my myself if you were home and it takes me an hour, I dont blame you. Im dealing with your insame schedule as best as I can, OK?
Marisa
I got home from my love and logic parenting class and the sitter was like, they were brats. I was like ok let me put them to bed and Ill take you home. WELL thats when the shit hit the fan. The kids came UNGLUED! Totally freaking out, all out, nightmare temper tantrums that had to get dealt with Supernanny style.(Thank GOD the baby stayed asleep) They were kicking the walls, screaming and kept coming out the door. Bill woke up after being asleep for 2 hours and blamed it all on me that they werent in bed by their regular bedtime. The thing is...I cant put them to bed because I never know when Bill is going to come home...if he's not home by the time I get back from my class, I have to pack up all the kids to take the sitter home so whats the point of putting them to bed when there's a good chance I'd have to wake them up anyway to leave??? Maybe he's right, maybe it is my fault. I should have just told Lizzy to put the kids in bed and if we had to wake them up, so be it. *sigh* It really feels like I cant do anything for myself! I have to take thekids everywhere unless I want to wait till 8 or 9pm to run errands (like Idid last night to go out for milk). I realize this is the job of a submariners wife, but when Im trying to do the right thing and get a sitter to do things I'd like to do, I cannot be blamed for every little wrong-doing of these kids. ESPECIALLY since he's not even friggin home to contribute to their discipline!!! Im not perfect, I never claimed to be the best mother on the planet but Im doing my friggin best over here with little to no help from my husband. Rant over.
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