This morning was pretty busy, I had a 0930 chiro appt and then off to the dealership so they could replace some hose for my AC. We got home around 1130 and ate lunch, the kids had some angel hair pasta and bunless burgers I grilled the day b4 yesterday. I put the girls down for a nap and blessedly they both fell asleep fast and Mase vegged in front of the tv. I wasnt feeling too much stress and thought my feelings were pretty good at this point. So it was time for day 4 of P90x. Yoga. No problem, right? Wrong-o. I put in the dvd feeling good that I was about to stretch out my sore sore muscles when I notice that its an HOUR AND A HALF! Ummmmm, what yoga class takes that long? Well that would be this one. I was doing ok for about 20 minutes then I became really tired and wanted to give up...it seemed soooo long and I still had an hour and 10 minutes left! But i stick it out and get to about the half way mark and this particular pose was so difficult and I lost it, tripped, fell, and sank into a puddle of tears. Really? Yes. I just think it was a combination of all that this week had delivered to me. I just couldnt go on anyfurther and it made me so frustrated I just let the dvd play while I gathered up my pieces and when I was ready I had a little pep talk with myself about not giving up and the next time I do this dvd it will get easier. So I plowed through (this is YOGA its supposed to be relaxing but this SHIT WAS HARD) and finished, doing what I could do and going as far as I could go. My ab muscles are nonexistant, and I thought one of them was going to spasm at one point! I cannot quit. This is so necessary for my health and my body. I hurt, I feel like lead weights and right now it sucks so bad.
This weekend should be nice however, hoping to see the Sailfest fireworks tmrow night, the kids should enjoy that. We're going bowling in the afternoon tmrw as well for a birthday party. A little cake and Ice cream to ruin my diet but thats ok, I've made the decision not to deprive myself of anything or else I will binge and thats no good either. Tonight Ihad a glass of wine but not two and a bit of dark chocolate, but not the whole bag. So I think Im doing ok, but I def could have used more green veggies and def more fiber and milk. The milk makes such a difference in my body. The last time I got into shape I made sure to drink 3 eight oz glasses a day and within a couple weeks I was leaner. So Im working on a more balanced diet without deprivation. I def could use a bit of help in this department though, i'll hit up some websites and see what kinds of foods I should start to include. Anyway bowling and fireworks, seems like a good way to spend a summer Saturday. Then sunday I'd really like to make it to the 8am mass but that seems unlikely at rate Im moving this sore body.
I was really hoping the boat would pull in earlier than scheduled but it looks like Im going to have to stick it out. I gotta say Ive never been this anxious for Bill to come home from a short underway, it used to be "ok babe see you in a week or two" and Id be all "yeah whatever I'll have a great time sleeping diagonal." This underway has been really difficult on me, its so hard to rationalize why though. 3 kids this time around maybe or maybe because he's been home for well over a year and now he's gone and Im just not used to it. Who knows but what I do know is my thick skin has been shed and Im all sensitive n stuff. WTF? That is not the me that will survive the rest of the summer. If smacking myself around would help, I'd do it.
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