The neverending week

I swear to GOD this week will NOT END. Bill has been nonexistant around here for a couple months now and even though he's been home but always at work its been managable. But for some reason this whole sea trials thing has my stress levels elevated. Its affecting the kids too, they run around like wild animals and I freak out at them and they just freak out right back. At the commy today we just needed a few things and Iwas seeing stars! It was too much for me when the kids were running and screaming (cami screamed once and I was mortified!) then at the check out Lauren started crying. I just dont want to go anywhere anymore!  Just plop them infront of the TV and take them swimming for an hour a day and call it good. Wait, isnt that what summer is supposed to be about anyway?  I just feel guilty no matter what I do....Bad Mom for going out and having them act up in public OOORRR Bad Mom for keeping them home and become TV zombies!  I've been trying to stay calm around them and I do for about 95% of this week but about once a day, something happens and I come off the chain! I started this whole P90X thing and one would think the exercise helps stress levels. In my case Im so worked up about not being able to do all the things in the videos and how severely out of shape Ive become that I think its making me more stressed! I realize that its only day 3 of this 90 day adventure but I used to be able to do all that shit. Man, these kids really fucked up my body and I got really lazy to boot. Anyhoo Im sore as hell and it hurts to breath but whatevs, Im not giving up because Im sick of looking and feeling like a lazy slob. I started paying attention to what Im eating and how much Im eating. Im not on a diet but Im trying to make better choices and eat less. Im excited to see changes and cant wait to take that 30 day pic to compare. 

Then the FRG got me worked up again, I feel like everything is my fault when people arent happy with how things are going. Everybody wont be happy all at the same time, but I can sure try! Now one certain person aside who hates the way I breath, act, walk, and talk can kiss my ass but other than that I want to try as best as I can for these ladies. I've backed off on attending a lot of social gathering because of the baby but I go where I can when I can swing it. I've only got 3 more months as president and at this point Im so happy to see all the people who have come together and became friends because of this group it really makes me feel like I did something good.

Another thing thats been bugging me, I've known this woman (unnamed) for a few years now and I dont see her very often but when I do she barrages me with all these personal questions. Mostly about money and lifestyle. I've entertained her questions because I dont see her all that often and I have nothing to hide anyway. But lately I've seen her twice in the same week and its been the same line of questioning along with snide remarks about me like "only the best for Marisa" and offering me potato chips right after I just shared how sore my muscles are from the P90X. I dont get it, I've been nothing but nice to her and her family. She says (to my face anyway) that my kids are cute and sweet but when it comes to having a normal conversation with her I get a lot of negative energy. It really bugs me and im tired of it and if this all happens one more time there will be a confrontation. I cant believe I've been thinking about this for days now! The best piece of advice I ever heard was "NEVER let ANYONE live in your head rent-free." So its time to start charging, biotch!