Feeling the pressure.

It has been such a whirlwind around here the past two months. So much so that all the crap thats been swirling around in my head stays there instead of getting it out on here. I've been walking around in a fog like I'm forgetting something. It seems like Im always checking my schedule to see if something is coming up that I cant remember. OR I'm rushing around like I'm about to be late. The time change was over a week ago and it really sank its teeth into me. I havent been the same since...I look 5 years older than I am, my body is exhausted and my brain hurts. Its not like I have some high pressure job or anything either. Thats the part that really kills me!! I have two things to do: Make sure no one gets hurt around here and keep the house clean. Yet the laundry is piled on the couch, there is always something spilled on the floor, and someone is hitting someone else. SO as you can see I'm pretty shitty at my job. Ugh. I realize I'm being a little hard on myself but it seems so simple yet NOTHING EVER GETS DONE AROUND HERE.
On a different note since I just completely beat myself up, the kids are awesome(epic temper tantrum last night aside). Mase is doing really well in school, Cami love PreK and is growing like a weed, Lauren is very busy all day. I drag her everywhere and she just goes along for the ride. She has her moments but is really pretty mellow. Bill is working nonstop and hopefully for good reason...we would really like to have a nice holiday season with him around. So if that means him working till 9pm to have a couple days off for Thanksgiving then so be it. His hours have had a toll on me, the stress is hard to manage sometimes. I really need to chill out. Thanksgiving is a week away and I've had the girls in and out of a bunch of different stores getting all I need to make a nice feast for family. I know they dont really care if it's all not perfect but I LOVE making everything look nice and of course taste delish. Bill convinced his parents, brother, SIL, and nieces to drive all the way here to be with us this year. SO that puts the pressure on to make our teeny house a home for lots of people but at the same time its what makes the holiday extra special. Having family around is the best considering how far removed we are from them. B misses his family so much. I'm lucky to be able to see my family a lot. Do I like a huge grocery bill to make all this food? No. But we'll make due because it's worth it for family.


 Xmas shopping is going to be last minute around here. Last year, I think I was much farther ahead than I am this year. Or it seems that way anyway. I do have some stuff bought for the kids. My kids, nieces and nephews are all so easy to shop for since they are still so young. Head down the toy aisles and start pulling and they'll be happy. It's the adults that are tricky. AAAK!!!! I just thought of the Xmas cards! Crap. Well I suppose there will be lots of stuff for Xmas that will be creeping into my brain that will send me into a panic. I'll figure it out, it just seems like this year is more crazy than last year and idk how since last year Bill was out to sea and I had a little baby. One thing that I will do for next year is a Christmas Fund. Starting Jan 1st a little each month into a savings account will really add up and take a big weight off my mind this time next year.
Well time to get dressed and change the baby's diaper. Now that I remembered I had this outlet for my brain, I can hopefully think a little more clearly today and get out of my foggy funk.