Depressing day

Yesterday was a really hard day for me...I didnt even have the energy to open the computer much less get out of bed.  It was just so sad, everytime I asked someone to do something for me I felt like a burden. Especially Bill, I had asked him to clean and dust our bedroom and it never got done but GOD forbid I ask again. Maybe I was interpreting his responses all wrong but I cant help what I feel and I felt like he was snapping at me. My mom was driving me insane and by lunch I was a wreck. I took two bites of my lunch and went to my room and just sobbed. Of course I cant let anyone see my cry so I locked the door and when I calmed down I came back to the table and finished lunch. By the time I got back to my lunch everyone else was done eating so it made me relieved that I could eat and no one could see my puffy eyes. After lunch, I just gave up on trying to be strong and just went to my room and laid down for the rest of the day until dinner. It was just so overwhelming how the sad feelings just took over....I wanted nothing to do with anything. The really weird part to me was how Bill never came in to try and understand what was wrong, it was like if he ignored me it would all go away. That didnt help matters either. I think he was afraid that if he talked to me he'd get wrapped up in some long conversation that would impede on watching the AFC game. When dinner time rolled around, I managed to drag my ass out of bed to eat and even tried to sit out on the couch after dinner but that didnt last long because Bill snapped at me again about something stupid. So I went back to bed and in an effort to cheer myself up I turned on the Blue collar comedy tour and that seemed to help... that plus a half a pint of Ben and Jerry's. Today when I woke up I told myself that yesterday was done and over and my mood had to change. Yes I'm very grouchy but grouchy is a big improvement over down and out depressed. Maybe tmrw I can try happy. I get to leave the house for my weekly trip to the doctor, even though I spent 5 of the last 7 in a friggin hospital! At least I get to drive myself and crank the radio ....mom was insisting she drive me there but there is no way I'm going to let her. She's afraid Im going to spit this kid out in my pants in the 15 minutes it takes me to get to the dr.!  I need some real alone time and besides driving myself to the dr. is the one thing I can still control. Turning the car on, pressing the gas pedal, and steering the direction I need to go....that is all in my control. It's seriously been my saving grace these few weeks as strange as that my seem.  Mom is leaving on Sunday and even though I should still have someone here for the first two weeks in  Feb until I get to 34 weeks, we will make it work. I just cant take it anymore! I feel like I'm losing my mind! Of course I wont be doing anything that would require major strain on "Lady Town" but by next week I can totally take on some of the light duties of my mom job.  I most certainly wont do anything that would compromise the health of this little baby,and loading the dishwasher once a day will be a task I am honestly excited to get back to doing.  Ive already talked to Bill and he was planning on taking a week of leave next week. That is not necessary, he can cook some big meals over the weekend and we'll just thaw them out/eat left overs for dinner each night. As long as he is home to do the kids bathtime and bedtime that's all I can ask of him.  I will ask a couple people if they can swing taking Mase to school but other than that, this house is pretty easy to take care of and so what if some dust bunnies pile up for a week?